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Monday, June 11, 2012

PFT results and Transplant Friends

So, another quarter of school has ended.  Usually at this time, I'd be posting about my grades and what I'm doing next quarter and some of my upcoming wedding plans...  I just can't seem to make myself do that this time. 

I've been on Facebook and catching up on my blog list.  As much as I needed to the support of the CF community while I was waiting for my transplant, making all of these friends has been hard as hell on me emotionally now. 

I've felt myself slowly pulling out of the community, strictly for the fact that I just can't handle sitting around and watching my friends be so sick.  I have friends on both sides of transplant now.  I fear for the ones who have not had their transplant.  That things may get too bad for them, that they may not get the same chance that I've had.  I always thought that it was hard to be the one waiting for transplant...  that's a walk in the park when compared to watching someone you care for go through the waiting.  Gives me a whole new respect for the parents of CF children, being on this side now... 

Even others that I know mostly online... watching them through the computer screen is just as hard as sitting by their bedside and holding their hand.  It's just... it's been a hard week for me, and if there's anyone that still reads this blog... I ask that you keep my friends in your prayers. 

So that all being said, I did manage to have some great news today!  I did a full PFT this morning and my FEV1 was at 76%, the highest I can ever remember it being!  It was a wonderful moment for me, especially since I've been waiting for 3 years to have such good numbers.  I was beginning to believe that it just wasn't meant for me... but now, I have motivation again to try and push even harder.  Exercise a little bit more... Eat a little bit healthier... and maybe, just maybe, I can reach where my other transplant friends have their PFTs sitting :)