A Case of the Blahs

I just haven't felt right the last couple days. Been extra sleepy and had a total lack of motivation to actually do the things I need to get done. I should exercise everyday (shouldn't we all), I should be eating healthier (again... all of us), and I should just forse my little butt into bed and take a nap. Of course, none of this has happened and I just keep feeling like I'm loosing my CF role models.

In Decemeber, a shining beakon in the CF community passed away. Her name was Melissa and I talked to her often online. She was part of the CF.com family and also made an appearance on CF2Chat.com every now and then. I knew in November that she was making her final plans and it crushed me. Her positive spirit is one of many that gave me the courage to take the risk on transplant and to push forward. I didn't find out about her death until a week after it had happened.

Now another girl, Eva, is waiting for another set of lungs. She had her transplant almsot 3 years ago and has gone into chronic rejection. If you're active in the CF web community, you know who she is and her story. About a month ago they gave her just a few more days to live. DAYS but she's stilling holding on as of now. Very weak, but alive.

Melissa's death hit me because I considered her a friend, Eva's on the other hand, I've never spoken with her. I've read her blog and I feel like I have gotten to know her. But her being this sick really stricks a cord with me. Post-transplant living is great, I wouldn't trade it for anything... but it scares the shit out of me. There's Danny, and now Eva, and there's another girl I've been talking to who is also in chronic rejection and waiting on the list at Cleveland for her 2nd transplant.

So with all of that being said, I'm just kind of in a funk of a mood. I think tonight will be a good night to cook a good dinner for Cameron and I and then sit on the couch watching a movie. Just the two of us. Maybe I'll actually get to sleep in tomorrow.

Time Flies

Where did February go?! I've been meaning to sit down and put an update on here for the last 2 weeks and things have just been a little crazy in our house.

Kelly turned 17, which is a little scary. On her actual birthday she was on her way to school and got in a car accident. What a great gift, huh! Everyone was fine, but the cars were a little banged up. We've been dealing with the aftermath of the other driver since though. Neither Kelly or the other kid were given a ticket so the plan was to have the insurance companies pay for their own cars. The other driver didn't have collision coverage so they threatened to sue... people are just so friendly anymore :) But I think that's all resolved now, or at least, I hope it is.

February 9 I went back up to Cleveland for my 1 year appointment!! I spent a lot of that week just reflecting on everything I've been through this last year. There are times when it feels like my transplant was forever ago, and then in the same moment, it feels like it still hasn't happened. Like the 2 years leading up to transplant were all just a bad dream and I woke up, got out of bed, and felt fine. I also got a letter from Lifebanc, the group that handles the correspondence between donors and recipients, and they said they were unable to deliver my letter to my donor family because they were unable to locate them. That kind of deflated me for a few days... I wanted to get a letter back so badly!! I want to know who my donor was and to be able to thank the family properly. I know if it's meant to be it'll happen, but it doesn't make it suck any less.

That Friday, Cleveland called with my biopsy results telling me that I was, once again, in slight rejection. I wasn't so upset about the fact that I was in rejection (they just up my prednisone and see me back in about a month), I was upset that I had to go back for another biopsy. My last biopsy was suppose to be at the 1 year mark unless something went wrong. So March 15 and 16 (yes, it's a 2 day trip this time... don't even get my family started on that...) I go back up, see the doctors and have, what I'm hoping really is this time, my last biopsy.

February 13th marked 1 year for me and I couldn't stop smiling the whole day. To me, making it to 1 year is a HUGE step! So, in true family tradition, we had a 1st Birthday Party for dear Andrew :) So many people came... friends, family, anyone who was in town and we ate and drank and had the best time. Cameron took some pictures but I haven't had a chance to look at them yet. If I find a good one, I'll try and post it on here. I'm still working on getting all of the thank-you notes written for the beautiful gifts people brought... which was not the purpose of the party, but I loved each gift all the same.

Around that time, I also quit my job at Wendy's. I think I've outgrown it at this point. It was great in high school, but I'm ready to get through school and have a real job. Preferably something that isn't so physical would be nice too. After years of dance and all of the surgeries, my body hurts!!

Finally, last week my dad was trying to get Sam (our older dog who has cataracts real bad) back into the house. After he picked the dog up and started walking back, he slipped on some snow/ice in our backyard and fell. I'm guessing his foot got caught on a tree root, but the result was that he broke his right leg down near the ankle. So for the last week and a half I've been driving my dad to work and just trying to help him get around the house. He's on crutches and has an air cast, so he can't put any weight on the right leg... poor Daddy :( He goes back to the ortho the same day that I go back to Cleveland... Don't know how we're going to make that work, but somehow it will just have to happen.

So that's all that's been going on in around here. Nothing too exciting :) I'm going to try and get out here more often but I don't know how my schedule's going to be in the next few months. Cameron and I are still planning on moving in June and I plan on starting classes at UC then as well. Wish me luck!!