A Case of the Blahs

I just haven't felt right the last couple days. Been extra sleepy and had a total lack of motivation to actually do the things I need to get done. I should exercise everyday (shouldn't we all), I should be eating healthier (again... all of us), and I should just forse my little butt into bed and take a nap. Of course, none of this has happened and I just keep feeling like I'm loosing my CF role models.

In Decemeber, a shining beakon in the CF community passed away. Her name was Melissa and I talked to her often online. She was part of the CF.com family and also made an appearance on CF2Chat.com every now and then. I knew in November that she was making her final plans and it crushed me. Her positive spirit is one of many that gave me the courage to take the risk on transplant and to push forward. I didn't find out about her death until a week after it had happened.

Now another girl, Eva, is waiting for another set of lungs. She had her transplant almsot 3 years ago and has gone into chronic rejection. If you're active in the CF web community, you know who she is and her story. About a month ago they gave her just a few more days to live. DAYS but she's stilling holding on as of now. Very weak, but alive.

Melissa's death hit me because I considered her a friend, Eva's on the other hand, I've never spoken with her. I've read her blog and I feel like I have gotten to know her. But her being this sick really stricks a cord with me. Post-transplant living is great, I wouldn't trade it for anything... but it scares the shit out of me. There's Danny, and now Eva, and there's another girl I've been talking to who is also in chronic rejection and waiting on the list at Cleveland for her 2nd transplant.

So with all of that being said, I'm just kind of in a funk of a mood. I think tonight will be a good night to cook a good dinner for Cameron and I and then sit on the couch watching a movie. Just the two of us. Maybe I'll actually get to sleep in tomorrow.